I'm sure I'm crazy...
I don't know wat the hell I'm doin...My mind is in a mess...Now I really don't know wat happenin...How do I continue?...Why are they wearin masks?...Why do I have one on my face too?...What are they doin?...Truth are no longer as they are...Lies remain...It hurts...like hell...Now do I know the truth?...I think I'm crazy...Don't know what I'm doin...Part of our life journal?...hu knows?...SHIT...I dunno wat I'm typin...it's getting worse...
How am I livin?...
I dun feel like I belong there...dunno wat's happenin...I thot everything is goin to be fine...Bt i keep havin that negative thots...I wanted to help the com...esp sigit...so he wuldn't be so stress...bt...I dunno...I juz feel like I dun belong there...and I can't wait to get out of there and give my post to another one who is more capable and suitable for this post...wat's happenin to me?...I dun wan to cry...I'm thinkin of nt caring and nt participatin...so I will nt mind so much...bt...yet I wan to help...I'm contradictin myself...wth...I really dunno wat to do le...I'm juz idiotic,...stupid...silly...now I'm feelin so useless...and today ppl fierce at me for no reason...wat's happenin...
Crystals...
I juz go bonkers today...tt's the best way to describe my mood today...Dunno wat I'm doin...bt really wanted to be left alone today...tt's y i say i go bonkers...Suddenly felt that everything seemed to be caused by me...dunno y...bt i think...it's my fault...I will apologise...blame it on me...and things will be solved...Let me keep this smile on my face...no matter sad or happy...I juz want to have this smiley face to face everyone...I'm rather I'm really crazy...always laughin...I dun wan to...feel sad...I dun wan to see ppl and feel sad...I can't bear to see the scene now...as if...I'm tryin to run away...Dun care...at all...Maybe i'm so affected today that I realised I never pay attention in class...Mind in a total mess...I dunno wat I'm doin...Bt i think, I'm almost sure that this will be the rare day where I will act in this way...Have faith!...(haha...but how to?...)JAce
What a Month...
I supposed it's getting better...the commitee stuff...at least tt's wat I'm thinking...the atmosphere not that tense anymore...But this month is really not quite a good month...A lot of things croppin up, screwin up...But we muz ZHENG ZUO! JIAYOU! esp to those who encounter many problems...I feeling better too...seems like things are getting better, clearing up bah...No more tears from me or yj, and I hope the others too...yup...I'm sure things will get better...yes de bah...JAce
Masquerade 2...
Today more things cropped up...everything is screwed up...Finding it to be totally ridiculous..Realised tt nothin has changed so far...wat we done is futile...Or is it a matter of time?...Who knows...I dun wan to be naive...I dun wan myself to believe and get hurt...I dun wan to think tt everything can be solved as long as we can trust each other...But so long as I know, I seen nothing like this except in tv shows...I no longer believe in this...Not I tryin to be pessimistic, but isn't it quite true?...Hearts are fickle-minded, minds are easily influenced...And how could trust exists?...Even I muz admit that I'm very easily influenced...Things that can be solved will be solved, things that can't be solved will nt be...Ridiculous...JAce
Masquerade...
Today me, cat and yijie really is "thrashed" all out...haha...Feeling better...bt I feel weird now...Sophie juz now told me that one senior dun like me and is because I cannot catch what huang lao shi is toking abt during pa practices...huh?...y ppl dun like me all because of weird reasons?...Bt I hope they dun expect too much from me...I nt a genius and I'm juz a amateur in dizi...Give me some time, my dear seniors...I'll try my very best...Then now I realised alot of ppl dun like me, and I dunno y...I will be happy if U all could tell me what I do wrong...I was wonderin is it partly becoz I "rised" too fast?...I used to be the lousiest in dizi...bt I really put in alot of effort to get to this standard...Give me some time, seniors. I believe I can. I will nt let my sacrifice to become nothing...I promise...I'm nt emoing, definitely. I juz dun wan ppl to get the wrong idea of me...My skills are nt gd bt I believe is better den my last time standard...And I put in a lot of effort, and I believe the others too...This does nt fall from the sky...thus, plz plz plz, bear with me, I'm will nt lose out, and I MUZ NT...There has been lots of problem in co recently...caused by the relationship between ppl...Dun mistaken me Sigit, I respect u as a chairman bt I hope U give yur respect to me and sophie as vice-chairs. I dun wan to rebel u, bt I juz hope that u could listen to us sometime...I nt angry because of tt camp thing, bt I hope u can understand, we, vice-chairs are nt "vases" and are nt put there to be "shown"...This's wat that anger me...I believe that we have the ability to do things well and I hope U can believe in us...plz...this is the first time i spell out the name so openly...and I hope this could be the last time...I dun wan U to misunderstand that I tryin to go against u, as I do nt have this intention to do so...plz...and I'm sorry if I caused a headache to u bt I really have no choice...and I'm really at my wit's end...I shall end here, and if anybody really dun like me, go ahead and tell me...I'm willing to change my proudness or anything...thanks...JAce
